OnTheSoapbox: Get out of jail free

Seems that all it takes to get out of jail free in some societies is to be a spoilt, rich brat. After just three days into her 20-odd day (reduced from 40-odd days) sentence, the celebrity some call "Parisite" walked out of jail to serve the rest of her sentence under house arrest.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/07/paris.hilton/

Gosh, I wouldn't mind going to that sort of "jail" with all the comforts of home, especially when home is a fancy schmanzy pad, the cost of which would feed a small nation for a month.

OK, so here is the simple 8-step get-out-of-jail-free formula:

Step 1: Make sure you're a spoilt celebrity who is famous for well... being famous. No talent needed. Then, get arrested for drink driving.
Step 2: Plead no contest and be banned from driving for some time.
Step 3: Drive anyway and get caught.
Step 4: Get charged and sentenced to jail time for violating the no-driving ban.
Step 5: Make a huge fuss, cry and say you're a "target" of unfair justice. Fire your lawyer. Rehire your lawyer.
Step 6: Get jail time reduced.
Step 7: Go to jail. Cry some more. Refuse to eat the food. Develop a "medical condition" (I didn't know stupidity is a medical condition, but oh well).
Step 8: Get out of jail and serve the rest of the sentence in your luxurious home

That's right kiddos, the moral of the story is: Be a spoilt, rotton brat and get what you want. Laws are meant only for mere mortals like the rest of us.

** end of rant ** We now return to regularly scheduled programming ...